Susanne Alexander is a leading authority on character and couples. She is a Relationship and Marriage Coach and Character Specialist with Marriage Transformation (www.marriagetransformation.com). Susanne is the author of a number of books, including Becoming an Excellent Person, Becoming Character Partners, and Pure Gold: Encouraging Character Qualities in Marriage.
Here is our recent character Q & A:
1. What does leadership mean to you?
The best leaders see themselves as being of service to others and being strong positive examples with their words and actions. Excellent leaders build unity among all participants and are collaborative in working with others and with making decisions. They are not afraid of making mistakes, knowing that they and others will learn and grow through the experience of resolving the problems. Leadership means being courageous with taking calculated risks that move people forward.
2. How do you incorporate leadership as well as the essential habits of character (gratitude, responsibility, integrity, unity & service) into your family, business, life?
I’m President of a one-person company – only myself. Leadership works differently in this situation. I demonstrate servant-leadership as I contribute my services to my religious community for low or no cost. I bring people together to present as a team at conferences. I form consultative teams to guide me in making business decisions. I step forward courageously to develop new products and services.
My spouse and business partner passed away in 2009. To move forward I regularly express gratitude for the gifts in my life. I’m taking on the full responsibility of the business, grateful for the foundation that we laid together. Integrity means that I pay my bills on time and keep my promises to others.
Essentially, my actions revolve around the mission of my company: Marriage Transformation is about empowering people to create happy, lasting, character-based marriages—the foundation of a prosperous, unified world.
3. What impact do you think character has on children? On communities?
Parents have a primary responsibility to raise their children to have excellent characters. Children bring benefit to others when they behave with truthfulness, loyalty, justice, cooperation, helpfulness, purposefulness, respect, trustworthiness, and the myriad of other character qualities. As children behave with integrity in their lives, they transform their schools and neighborhoods. As they begin to date, they behave well with their partners. They know what qualities to look for and appreciate in their partners. Children with strong characters become excellent at their studies and work pursuits. They are equipped to establish strong and happy marriages and families.
4. How can children affect leadership?
Children who are skilled in honesty, assertiveness, encouragement, idealism, and respect can influence the leadership decisions being made on their behalf. When leaders make unwise decisions, children with character strengths will have the confidence to speak up for change.
Children can become involved as leaders from a very young age. They can be class officers, scout leaders, mentors to classmates, and more. The power of their example will have others turn to them naturally.
5. What is one thing you could recommend to others so they, too, can bring character to life?
I encourage everyone to use Character Quality Language. This skill involves noticing someone practicing a character quality and acknowledging the person’s words or actions. The more specific the affirmation, the greater the effect. The more character words are included in everyday speech, the more awareness and reinforcement there is of character-filled actions. An example is: “Thank you for being helpful to your classmates today when the fire alarm went off. You were responsible, careful, and showed self-discipline in guiding people to the exits and helping them to avoid panicking.”
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